Who decided that black men should have to conform to what the world thinks they need to adhere to. When a child cries because mama won't except the fact that Lil Jr. got another agenda. I am what you fear and dream of at the same time. I'm the what would should have been my life, and what you want to lay your head on. I go the mile, the distance between you and words of encouragement sent by those that mean betta. You are not my father. He died long ago trying to live his dream, but I won't b e denied. You should look at yourself in something other than a mirror. You are not what you think you should be but a shell of something else. I cried last night for you. A human slave to what folks call a gay black man. I cried because you left me with open hands and empty mouths. Where were you when fog rolled in from a place that most people only think brings pain, sorrow and hurt. You made me be what I am today. A sorry black gay man that's in love with not only you but the sound of his own voice. Alcohol may not be the answer but it does offer relief. You make me sick. All the fairy tails that come from you mouth are sickening to me. You are my joy and don't even know who you are. I'm in a place now that requires me to think. I'd rather be between your legs, blessing you with the gift that God himself gave me. You remember the pain that I brought on in the heat of not just a moment, but a lifetime of waiting.  You still feel me, and in my heart you are the reason I hurt. Ease up off the regret cause yo time is coming. The time of not just paying a bill.  You owe me your life, all of it in a bag held under your arm. I love you, can't you see that. It's not enough to just cry, you got to mean it. And trust me when i say i need you here I'm not just saying words. You are my light so shine. I'll treasure it in the long run...........!