Peanut Butter, No Jelly.

The longer I live the more I see the flaws in my ultimate plan to better me. I look around and all these priorities that surround me all of a sudden feel unimportant. I've always had a bad habit of always trying to help everyone, but why do I feel like an option. It seems that over time I've managed to spread myself so thin that by the time I get to me there nothing really there worth enjoying. How do you fix a something that's been broken from the beginning. I think at this point it's time to trade in the flawed merchandise and invest in what's really important. ME.........! After all, who likes peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly...! lollollollol..

7 Month Rehab

It's easy to point the finger at someone else. Even trying to find reasons for the actions you've performed is simpler than admitting your failures. Once upon a time I told myself that being a man meant more to me than proving a point. I'm starting to see things in a different light. Maybe my problem was that i always tried to prove a point to everyone except the one person to whom it should have mattered most, Me.... For years I've given so much time, and energy to others happiness and failed to make peace with who I am. After years of asking myself why me, I finally realize that I'm not happy with me. How could I ever give myself fully to someone else when I haven't made peace with what I see every time I look in a mirror? It's not easy to smile when your face is filled with so much hate for nothing other than who you see yourself as. Even though statistically my life is almost halfway over; I refuse to spend any more of it living a lie. I smile today because I've reached a long overdue milestone in my life. I asked myself how can anyone love someone with this much hurt. My answer is by allowing them to first love themselves. Today for the first time in. Thirty-three years I take the first steps in the long but not so distant road to finally finding peace. First I put me first. Then I allow myself to smile. Realizing that I'm blessed, and more than that, highly favored, gives me the strength to move forward. I love you, But I love someone else more.......... ME..........!


Tray